Self Awareness

What do chickens gather at the seashore?

Sometimes I don't know what I think. The times I do know what I think I don't know what it means.

Tonight I said my vice was shoes; I have over thirty pairs. My vice is truely spending too much money I think. Shopping in general. Last night (or a couple nights ago, I don't remember) my love said I'm not as bad as I used to be when we first started dating. But when I am sad and I don't feel like doing anything I can motivate myself to get out of bed just with the thought of walking through a store and purchasing whatever strikes me as beautiful. Another vice that I'm trying to vanquish is eating too much. I hate that my muscles are so covered with a layer of fat that you can't even tell when I flex. I eat when I'm bored, when I'm with people, when I'm hungry... sometimes I live for the feeling you get when you are so full of food that you think if you eat one more bite you'll expload. It's not healthy.

I'm not who I want to be. I am not perfect yet. I do know that the testing of my faith produces patience, and patience, when it's had it's perfect work, will make me perfect.

I am in love with my boyfriend. I don't often enough tell people how wonderful he is to me. He puts up with all my mood swings and never leaves me when I am in pain. He truely cares about me beyond what physical pleasure I give him. He is selflessly interested in my interests. He doesn't try and change me or manipulate my feelings. He admits when he's wrong and tells me he's sorry. He is my first boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years 5 months and 26 days. I love him more than anything else in this world. I miss him right now.

I dislike migraines.

My head hurts.

Eggshells.